This Thanksgiving Day, there are many things that I’m thankful for, things that are a blessing in my life, and many things that are a traumatic source of pain to my enemies. Often, they are both at the same time. Now, I’m not sure if I’m doing Thanksgiving right by being thankful for the failure and misery of people who are bad, but I’m also thankful that I don’t care about such conundrums.
Anyway, here are some of the things that I’m thankful for this year…
I am thankful that Donald Trump is president, most of all because that means Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit is not president. I could stop here and end this column, but my editors insist on a higher word count.
I am thankful for my editors and their patience.
I am thankful for a couple of senators who used to drive me up the wall. In the last couple years, Mitch McConnell completed his unlikely transformation from Yerlte the RINO Turtle into the Judicial Avenger who vanquished Merrick Garland and confirmed Kegger Kavanaugh. He’s skillfully tormented the Democrats and is in the midst of packing our court with a bunch of actual judges as opposed to a crowd of pinko robed activists. This is everything we dreamed of for decades and it’s happening.